I never thought I'd be saying this, but the new Spielberg alien movie kinda sucks. I'm a Spielberg guy. I'm usually on board with whatever he's doing, most of the time. Less so recently, but still, I always want to know what he's up to. Chances are good, whatever it is, I'll be there for it.
That said, I don't love every Spielberg movie I see. He's had quite a few misfires. But he's also had some real bangers, especially in the sci-fi genre. Close Encounters, E.T., Minority Report, even A.I. and War of the Worlds are pretty great, even if they aren't my favorites. Like, even the not great Spielberg movies are still way better than most movies. He's just good at making exciting, interesting looking stuff.
I went into this movie pretty excited for a new Spielberg alien movie. I thought the trailer looked great and the premise was interesting, so I was pumped.
As soon as I saw Emily Blunt driving and singing Hey Baby by No Doubt like Emma Stone singing Chapel Roan in Bugonia, I knew I was in for a disappointing four hours or however long that movie was. For a couple of reasons. The first is that yeah, I do think that gag of singing along with the radio in the car was inspired by Bugonia. The second reason is fuck No Doubt and Gwen Stefani specifically. I don't wanna hear her voice. Moving on.
So the thing that offended me about this movie is that it felt lazy. Every choice it made felt predictable and lazy. Nothing surprised me. Nothing felt new or ambitious. Maybe I'm getting jaded, but all the cool Spielberg camera moves and blocking and framing and neat visual storytelling tricks don't amount to much if I don't care about what's happening.
I won't get into what specifically bothered me in the story, but it was a lot of little things that combined into an overall haze of disinterest.
Yes, it was visually interesting. Very cool, very fun camera stuff. Big bombastic, classic John Williams score. That was very present. It was, no question about it, a Steven Spielberg joint. It was just not a very good one. Some cool stuff in it, I guess, but the bigger picture was disappointing as hell for me.
Steve will have a free pass to cinematically fuck around as much as he wants for the rest of his life as far as I'm concerned, but I also don't mind saying when his output isn't for me. This one wasn't for me.